Is complete healing possible?

The Power of Belief: Complete Healing Is Not Just a Possibility, It's a Certainty

Today, it's popular to claim that we can never fully heal.

My life story is a testament to the opposite of that.

So I feel inspired to share that with you.

For not only is complete healing entirely possible, it is very probable, actually expected, once we:

1.) Allow ourselves to believe we can truly be fully healed

2.) Dis-identify with the victim/survivor role

3.) Accept that we're already healed

4.) Meet our core (human) needs

Overcoming Every Battle: How I Triumphed Over Trauma, Pain, and Identity

As someone who faced significant challenges in her life, including being born amidst war in a third-world country, experiencing clinical death, enduring abuse and bullying, rape, an attempted rape, abortion, betrayal by almost every partner I've ever had, etc., I know (and have thus experienced) that complete healing IS POSSIBLE, despite the common narrative that clearly states otherwise.

In my romantic life, I navigated relationships with individuals struggling with addictions (alcohol, opioids, etc.) and mental health in general, not realizing that all those men were an externalized expression of my suppressed traumas waiting to be heard, seen, and processed.

For the past 19 years, I have battled intense ovarian pain on a monthly basis, enduring 2-3 days of pure torture each month, despite taking 20-30 non-effective painkillers each time. This struggle has nearly cost me my life and sanity.

On top of that, I have grappled with chain-smoking, binge-eating disorder, severe gut issues, clinical depression, and crippling anxiety. Despite holding two master's degrees, moving far away from my country of origin (numerous times), being proficient in three languages, and boasting a wealth of worldwide professional experience supported by numerous testimonials, I found myself in a position where I remained unemployable (and I mean 1500 CVs sent without a single response unemployable), so opening my own business and offering my skill set was done from a survival mode and not from passion and lightness.

I've used the last couple of years to face my demons, fears, and terrors in order to heal. From tonics, pills, and concoctions therapy and programs, over plant medicine and tailored supplements, towards rituals, ceremonies, and numerous hours of study, research, and self-development, I did (or so I thought) literally everything to be functional and productive (not to mention healed) human being.

I wanted to function from the place of peace and ease.

I wanted to forgive everyone who ever hurt me.

I wanted to feel free, light, and happy.

I wanted to live a fulfilling, rich, and emotionally satisfying life.

So I embarked on a journey of "healing".

Healing Addiction: Breaking the Chains for True Liberation

Little did I know that on this journey of healing, restoring, and recuperating, I will not only be healed, but before I am, I will become stuck in the "healing mode" that's going to keep me stuck as much as my "survivor identity" did.

For you see, I embarked on a journey of healing with full speed.

Healing was everything I was able to talk about, read about, think about. It became my way of being, functioning, and living.

Books, podcasts, reels, conversations...

If it wasn't about healing, I didn't care.

And being in that modus operand felt nice.

Safe.

Familiar.

Even productive at times.

It felt better than moping around (like I did when I felt like a victim). Cause I was, you know, doing something.

And that's better than just crying and brooding.

You know how they say, the behavior turns into a pattern, a pattern becomes a habit, the habit becomes a way of living, and the way of living becomes an identity?

The same thing happened to me with "healing".

All the things I wanted to do (writing, publishing my own program, actively reaching out to my potential clients, etc.) became one-day-when's (presumably done after I "heal").

I just "knew" that:

"One day I learn how to manage my ADHD I will start actively working on my course and books."

"One day when I finish working for this toxic client I will dedicate myself fully to what I love."

"One day I feel safe, secure, happy, fulfilled and stable, I will re-enter the dating pool."

And so on and so forth.

Although to an outsider these things might seem reasonable, I've used them as a cop-out from reality, without recognizing that by delaying action I am actually sabotaging the actual healing to occur.

Is being a survivor and being in a survival mode one and the same?

Slowly but surely, alongside constant "healing," I started to create an entire identity around being a "survivor" since it was more empowering than being a victim.

The problem is, it was equally damaging.

Why?

Because the ego used my wounds to create an entire identity around those wounds, and to push itself into ("more empowering") fight mode, opposed to the less empowering states of being.

So instead of damsel in distress (victim) I became a fearless warrior princess (victor) - whereas the only thing that has happened was that I've replaced one trauma response (freeze) with another trauma response (fight).

Nevertheless, I was still in a trauma response, and no closer to healing.

Additional problem with becoming a "survivor" (as well as being the victim) lays in the identification itself.

Why?

Because no real healing can occur if we stubbornly (albeit unconsciously) choose to create an identity around what we have (or have experienced), as opposed to dissolving ego-made identity and embracing the truth of who we are - The Spirit, The Creator, The Universe, The One.

Only ONE SELF is the true self. All else are roles.

Identification with anything else other than our SPIRITUAL SELF (our eternal self) is not only a vicious ego-play, but an actual act of self-sabotage.

For example, our physical body (corporal self) is something we have, not something we are.

It's ours to use - not to create an identity around.

Our mind, is one of our most precious tools.

It's here to help us to take in, dispatch and process data.

But it's still not who we are. It's what we have.

Our emotions are sensations and responses to external and internal stimuli.

We use them to experience the world inside and within us.

They're an ability.

Not an identity.

So a question arises: "If I'm not my body, my mind nor my emotions, how can I be what happened to me?"

The thing is, by assigning myself a role of a survivor (or a victim), I'm not only blindly obeying the ego, I also give more significance to my wounds by giving them purpose, meaning and story.

Whereas, the only thing that's actually going to heal me is processing the pain, learning from pain, and letting the pain go, which I'm unable to do if I keep re-iterating I am a survivor.

The whole survivor identity thing?

It's like the flip side of the victim identity coin. It's not just saying, "I went through stuff."

It's literally screaming, "I am what I went through!".

And as long as we believe we are our experiences, we remain stuck.

As long as we believe we have no power over those experiences, we feel powerless.

For if we believe (falsely) we are our experiences, and we at the same time believe we don't have complete power over those, we have no power over ourselves.

And this cannot be further from the truth.

Overcoming Every Battle: How I Triumphed Over Trauma, Pain, and Identity

I am (and have been) cigarettes, depression, anxiety, eating disorder and ovarian pain free for a long time.

I am living a fulfilling life, traveling internationally, leading my own practice, forming and maintaining profound and meaningful connections/partnerships/friendships across the globe while living my truest most authentic self.

I am counseling, guiding, mentoring and coaching successful high-sensitive souls on a global scale.

And I will certainly share all of the MUNDANE/THIS WORLD/PRACTICAL tools and methods that helped me to get from where I was towards where I am now - prefaced by the two initial (KEY) steps:

1.) Embracing the possibility of complete healing.

2.) Breaking free from the identity of a survivor (or a victim)

For without those two - only symptom management occurs.

And with those two - the healing journey is already half-done.

And the rest?

Coming soon...

Sooner than expected :)!

p.s. - ready to be the first to enjoy Part Two or simply want a dose of positivity in your inbox? Don't miss out, email me to contact@taylortena.com to subscribe.

Mucho Love & Zero Fluff

With all my heart

Yours T.